Self-Worth Good, Inflated Ego Bad

As a woman raised "old school" by a hard working "DQI" (Don't Question It) family, working my butt off is not a foreign concept. I have done more than my fair share of all-nighters and 16-hour-plus workdays.

But since the economic downturn circa 2008, making a decent living seems to have become more of a herculean task. The survivors of downsizing often question whether they were really that lucky to hold on to their jobs at all, because they're now doing the work of two or more of the laid-off employees.

Usually "higher-ups" only seem to know what they don't want but never seem to know exactly what they do want.  Their beleaguered employees suffer in the fallout, trying to satisfy their conflicted bosses; personal lives and health suffer, raises of any significance appear now a perk of the past.

Experience, expertise and aging are frequently the kiss of death. Instead of being paid for an acquired skillset and years of focusing on their jobs, worker bees are either forced to work for far less than they are worth or are shuffled out of a job so "young blood" can skulk in and work for (comparable) peanuts. (Except, of course, the young'uns utilize the job for the bare minimum of skills they need to move elsewhere as soon as they can.) 

Longevity and dedication to a job, industry, or business is simply not rewarded like it was even a decade or so ago.

Everyone is replaceable. Whether you want them to be, or not. If you don't think so, take a look at the entertainment/news business.

One of the most over-inflated egos to hit the morning news-entertainment genre is Josh Elliott. His entrée onto Good Morning America was scattered and teary after saying goodbye to his buddies at ABC "brother station" ESPN. He appeared to be a super-sensitive doting father and overall loveable big lug. But there was so much more brewing under the surface—and not much of it good. (If you want the gossip about his personal exploits, just Google it—it's there in volumes and at least some of it has to be true.)

At a time when my friends in the news business have sacrificed nearly every semblance of normalcy to stay in the industry for which they have been honing their skills, they're lucky to make half of what they were making ten years ago. That is, if they have a job at all. Largely because many of their fresh-faced newbie counterparts who think they know it all can afford to work for less because they are probably still living at home with Mom and Dad. They then milk the job for contacts and status and quickly move on, without little afterthought.

Many think—just like Oprah—they're going to be a household name. (Lara Spencer gave it a go at The Insider after she first left GMA, only to return. While her re-debut was a bit frenzied, with some uncomfortable moments with Elliott as they initially tried to outdo each other for attention, she has settled in much more comfortably and quietly re-signed her contract. She'd already learned her lesson.)

The idea of being a household name is an almost laughable notion, considering the fact that many viewers can't remember anchor-reporter names half the time. Then a lot of media outlets tend to have a clone-closet of similar-looking alternates (e.g., the Berman-Tapper-Harris-Stephanopolous quadruplets and Golodryga-Faris-Vargas triplets on ABC). 

Not that an astute or attentive person couldn't tell the difference among each of these reporter-anchors as credible, skilled journalists, but they all physically resembled each other to the point that ABC hoped you didn't care enough to appreciate each of them for the unique individual journalists they are. (Eventually Berman and Tapper moved on; Faris doesn't seem to be returning after maternity leave and is not currently listed in the ABC News list of talent.)

But taking all this into consideration, adding the chaos that is the television business, and Disney's historic penny-pinching ways, Elliott had the unmitigated chutzpah to ask for $8 million during his new contract negotiations when his present salary had been $1.2 million.  Nearly six times his going rate to watch an almost-creepily-child-hugging, daughter-obsessed clod shuffle around GMA everyday? He's just not cute enough to make up for his downside.

No, thank you. As a former journalist myself, as well as a loyal viewer who watches seven days a week (pretty much since the show debuted), I'm thankful GMA didn't take the bait. So off Josh goes to NBC Sports. (The rumors he was going to be a regular Today Show anchor—reportedly planted so that GMA would cave to his asking price—have since been verified by Today to have not been based in fact).

News hit Twitter Sunday night (3/30/2014) that Elliott was joining NBC. He didn't even bother to return to GMA for a classy goodbye come Monday. (Was he afraid he'd cry? I'm sure he would have—at least for the cameras.) ABC simultaneously announced Amy Robach—a proven news pro and survivor on so many levels—would be taking his seat on the anchor desk.

Ultimately my choice would be Ron Claiborne, who in my opinion, has the class, style, charm, credibility, and chops to "fill the man void" and keep GMA from looking like The View with poor George trying to keep the girls in line. (Although I wish they could have held on to Sam Champion, who is has left a huge hole in their morning crew.)

The moral here is where I started: Everyone can be replaced. And unlike Charlie Sheen replacing Michael J. Fox on "Spin City," giving Elliott the old heave-ho is an excellent move by ABC/GMA. 

Maybe ABC will now throw some of the cash they saved into the pockets of their behind-the-scenes production staff. They've earned it.

Update: GMA continues as #1 in morning news/entertainment shows sans Elliott, with numbers rising ever higher. Paula Harris has returned from maternity leave and continues to contribute.

New Spin on Old News

Hate to break it to you, Gwyneth Paltrow Martin, but people have been "consciously uncoupling" for years. You did not invent it and it is not a new trend.

Before you and Chris publicly announced your split, you decided to put a pretentious spin on something most couples set out to do when it's time to put an end to their marriage: Wreak as little havoc into the lives of the children they created.

I can tell you, it's not easy--regardless of how enlightened you are, how spiritual you are, and how "guided" you are.

It's sad when most marriages end. It's even sadder when children are collaterally damaged in the process. Often it's the first inkling they have that life is not perfect, their parents are not perfect, and their own love lives may never be perfect either.

It is not my intent to be a "hater" and it's not really my business whether Gwyneth and Chris "pray, lay or stay" but when you try to make it sound as though you—and only you—have found the spiritually conscious way to walk away from a marriage, you insult everyone who has learned the hard way that there's no pretty way for something that is spiritually, emotionally, and often physically extremely painful. 

Ending a marriage or long-term relationship is a massive change to life as the couple has come to know it and while change can be cathartic and an intense learning experience, some have handled it much better than others. When it occurs, the couple can only hope to be mature and supportive as their "new lives" turn into the same old thing, with sensitive and loving attention to their children in the process.

I'm sure you'll cash in on all this and your followers will see you as brave and trend-setting but you can afford to be. Couples have had painfully less resources and achieved the same goal quite successfully. 

Only they called it what it is: "separation," "divorce," and (gasp, the horror!) "splitting up."

Overload

One of the downsides of having an empathic nature is that even TV shows and the trials and tribulations of their characters can leave me feeling for another's loss or pain. 

Then there's Flight MH370, the Seattle mudslide, recent fires in NJ (Pt Pleasant motel & Edison elementary school--both supposedly caused by a discarded cigarette), and the "little pockets of pain" all over the world that devastate families and communities. 

Sometimes being totally media aware can be draining. 

All we can do is pray, offer strength and hope, and thank God for every moment we have a semblance of peace in our lives.

And turn off the flow of information rushing at us--at least a few seconds.

All this being said, I still don't believe Joss is really dead.

"Hot" Isn't Always "All That"

The problem with "hot" is people don't always get to see the "real you." 

Funny but true: In my "clubbing days," I'd meet a guy and go have breakfast in the wee hours. 

About an hour into talking at a diner, the guy would say to me: "YK, you're really an alright chick." 

It didn't matter to them who I really was at first blush but when forced to relate to me, only then could they tell I was a real, down-to-earth person. (This happened to me several times.) 

Point is: We are who we are and that's okay. There will always be someone, somewhere to appreciate us in depth and breadth--warts'n'all ... The right one will grasp the total you within and feel lucky to be at your side--no matter what. That's the person who is worth the wait. 

Just keep your senses keen to appreciate him/her for all they are--warts'n'all.

Love at First Sight

When I gaze upon a full—or almost full—moon, I immediately look for the Lady in the Moon. She's there, I promise you.* Once you've found her, it's almost impossible to see anything else on our solar system's fifth largest satellite, which has many mystical and magical elements for many.

Everyone thinks it's a Man in the Moon—and at first glance, that's exactly how it appears.  But look closer. Try a telescope, binoculars, or camera with a decent zoom before you think of me as daft. She's definitely there. To me, she is a classic Grecian or Victorian woman with flowers in her up-swept do.

The Lady in the Moon reflects the very definition of "art" and love. First look: Curiosity. Second look: React. Third look: Appreciate the beauty for its "complex simplicity."  

So, in the list of life lessons: Look more carefully from the start, spend far more time appreciating it.

                                                                                                 

*Of course I am in the New York City area (America) and very curious to know if you see the moon from the same angle and perspective. Please share; I'm curious.

My Garden is My Life

My garden is an enlightening reflection of my life: Unpredictable, sometimes flawed, yet beautiful in its essence. We take our hits and somehow find a way to be appreciated.  

Each year our bushes and plants change their shapes and colors; completely new flowers bloom from one year to the next. Some last only a day or a week; others, the entire season. No matter how much I enjoy any particular flower, I no longer expect it to return and appreciate it for as long as it lasts.  

I am learning to accept and embrace this phenomenon as indicative of the transitions and changes we all are meant to experience in this crazy and swiftly changing universe. 

IMHO: Obama All the Way

As Americans celebrate Columbus Day and the presidential election is less than a month away, here are some thoughts about why--in my opinion--re-electing Barack Obama for U.S. President is the only reasonable choice.

For the record, I am indeed a liberal and make no excuses about it, was raised in an essentially nonreligious "to each his own" household, and can usually find something to like about everyone.  Mitt Romney was my preferred GOP candidate because I initially believed he could help the economy but picking Paul Ryan as a running mate was a deal-breaker for me. ("Fountainhead," indeed!)

I hate no one and will not get into a pissing match with people who disagree with my choices. I gladly listen to--and welcome--differing opinions but find it hard to justify the behaviors and name-calling by those who react cruelly to others who disagree with them. America is a diverse country and to fear or violently react to its progression as such is a sign of ignorance, instability and the polar opposite of the ideals upon which it was founded.

No one is ignorant about the economic challenges we are facing; they have limited many of us, radically altering many lives and lifestyles. Everyone has been affected in one way or another—if not personally, within their communities, the experiences of family members, loss of services/amenities once taken for granted, and so forth. Frustration, aggravation and exhaustion run rampant; many are at the edge of their ropes. Everyone wants to blame someone and there is a groundswell of people who lay every negative reaction and behavior at Obama's doorstep.

Although I hardly consider our 44^th President to be the Savior-in-Chief, this nation's economic downturn began way before Obama became a household name. If you didn't notice businesses failing in every community as far back as 2005-2006, you were probably too busy sailing the "Sea of the Last Hurrah" before it got really serious. There was a swelling, palpable sadness, for sale and/or for rent signs on every block in virtually every area, and I somehow knew it wasn't going to get any better any time soon. Then of course, it didn't.

Although I'm not really "into" politics or government, these people exercise a distinct amount of power and control over our lives, so I believe it's crucial we pay attention to what's happening.  Although it is not my responsibility, desire or obligation to convince you about anything, I do believe everyone should question and fact check notions heard or inherited.

Ask yourself these five questions before going to the polls on November 6th:

• If government financial assistance is so despicable and objectionable, how come it was just fine when Mitt Romney's parents went on "public relief" when he was a toddler and teenager Paul Ryan received Social Security when his father died? …But everyone else who finds themselves in similar need and turns to these available programs at present are "seeking handouts."  ("Entitlement," indeed!)

• Exactly how is a government dictating who we marry, what we do with our bodies, and how we should handle our finances "less intrusive?" The subtext of Romney's declarations about "government that does not intervene " is that government should lay off big business—not "hands off the little guy." Yet Obama advocates healthcare for the millions of Americans who go woefully without and successfully remedied a credit card system that allowed millions and millions to be so far in debt that there was no way out.  

• Obamacare is such a despicable proposition?  The data and reality does not support the death panel accusation, despite what some would have you believe. However, everyone fortunate enough to have health insurance can probably offer a true yet ludicrous story about their insurer's version of a "death panel" or--at the very least--how they had to battle for the simplest of procedures because their insurer micromanaged or over-questioned a doctor's treatment.

• If you believe every highly prejudicial--and sometimes downright ridiculous--conspiracy theory liberally tossed around about Obama, why haven't you been paying attention to the realities of "The New World Order" that have been unfolding worldwide, are far closer to fruition, and are far more anchored in traceable evidence/events?

• Have you ever actually seen an appreciable decline in taxes that reached your wallet? If taxes were lowered by 20%, will 20% more find its way into your budget?  My experience is that you see about $20 more in your paycheck, if you're lucky… What happens to the rest of it? And that's if there is indeed a viable, executable tax reduction plan put into place and approved.

And, finally, my personal five reasons:

1)   Those who so desperately hate Obama, consider him the root of all evil, and believe with every fiber of their beings that he is everything from the anti-Christ to a lightly veiled Muslim endorsing a takeover of the U.S. have yet to provide anything other than vague accusation, innuendo and outright lies to support these allegations. As a writer, editor, researcher, and former journalist who has made a point of researching facts, the only thing I have found is rhetoric and propaganda circulated to perpetuate fear and doubt.

2)   Many Conservative Republicans I've encountered are some of the most frighteningly hostile, venomous and angry people I've met to date; their largest protestations and disrespect regarding Obama seem more mired in fear, hate and prejudice than in statistically relevant facts. (If you doubt this, wait and see the comments that ensue should they catch wind of this story.) If Romney has anywhere near the over-reacting, harsh and retaliatory mindset as the people who support him, we are undoubtedly doomed for annihilation in short order.  

3)   Overall, I AM doing better than I was four years ago. For the first time in my life I own a house (even though our household income is over 50% less than it was in 2008). Whatever financial changes/sacrifices we've experienced are more traceable to previous administrations than to Obama's.

4)   To ubiquitously hate because of differences in opinion, religion, ethnicity, and color is the most un-Christian behavior I can possibly fathom. Make no mistake that there may be pockets of people in other countries who hate us but it does not warrant obliterating a nation. If it were—considering the hate I have heard many Americans espouse for other nations—that would mean we deserve the same.

Rational thought and common sense must ensue. Neither amount to weakness, indecisiveness or lack of power. Only those full of fear, insecurity and loathing lash out impulsively and the end result is rarely fulfilling—or peaceful.

5)   My heart and gut tell me that Obama is the only choice. Whatever causes I have supported throughout my lifetime—with or without volumes of evidence to support it at the time—have resulted in my eventual reassurance that my intuition and belief were well-founded and sound. For all our sakes, I'm praying that streak continues.

For anyone not entirely sure if they're registered, check out http://www.longdistancevoter.org, which has information for everyone to make sure they're registered, to register if they're not, to file absentee ballots, and to have every detail they need so that they have a smooth voting experience on Election Day.

P.S. Anyone writing me off as "just another member of the liberal media": Have you ever stopped to think that many members of the media--who strive much more than you realize to be fair--are simply more tolerant of different lifestyles because they see firsthand the result the intolerant who "take matters into their own hands?"