Everyone with a thought and a pen is using both to speak about the fascinating public breakdown that is Charlie Sheen. As fields of snow across the U.S. melt into floods of destruction, so goes he. I can't resist the urge to join the legions who feel they have to say something on the issue.
There is a Polyanna side of me that truly wants to believe this otherwise seemingly spoiled megalomaniac speed freak is actually auditioning: Delivering a stunning portrayal of a man on the edge to prove he really can act. That in his extraordinarily overpaid and under-demanding role on Two and a Half Men, he's been relegated to a stereotype character, reaping millions but no satisfaction for the true art that can be acting.
As with most intelligent, narcissistic madmen, there are many nuggets of truth in Charlie's words—although their numbers and worth diminish the more he speaks. (I've experienced the same phenomenon with Gary Busey and Charlie Manson over the years!)
Sheen points to the ridiculousness that is Hollywood—the exploitation, commercialization, spoon-fed dreck that the masses devour without question or distinction. Although he overuses the term exponentially, he calls those not on his side "trolls." I vigorously challenge the overly broadened interpretation.
He espouses motivational rhetoric in a diarrhea-like fashion, leaving droplets of imitation liquid gold along his road to self-annihilation: "Winning!" "Pain is a myth." "We beg for nothing. Beggars beg, winners win. Period. The end. Suck it." "Apocalypse Me: The Jaws of Life."** He claims to record almost everything now because he is "tired of losing all my gold into the ether sphere of f---ing stupidity." Clearly he has managed to morph Tony Robbins into Gadhafi, transforming words meant to empower into histrionic ramblings.
Sheen reminds me of the plethora of stories I heard when going to *Gam-anon meetings: The more you win, you still have to lose. The truth is Charlie can tattoo, scream, and sky-write that he's "winning" all he wants but in reality, he's seeking a bottom that continues to elude him. If his bottom doesn't rise to meet him post haste, he'll undoubtedly careen to his demise.
Parallels to Peter Finch's character in Network—a brief reference Sheen himself made during his Howard Stern-style "Sheen's Korner" on Ustream (or as he admits, "a shameful trainwreck filled with blind cuddly puppies")—are almost too obvious to mention. Maybe in his speed-addled mind, Sheen is determined to go out in a publicly maniacal manner.
It appears the consensus of the masses about him is running (very generally) 40% "sad," 40% "mad," 20% "stop talking about him already!" I must admit that I can't stop watching. I'd like to believe it's purely journalistic interest that keeps me transfixed on the man and the meltdown but I honestly haven't searched my soul enough to verify that. Everyone can insist "no more drama," yet overall there is nothing more spellbinding at this point in time than watching "The Charlie Show." One way or another, he is getting his wish: Whether he's acting, melting, insane, or high; prophet, demon or dirtbag, he's got our attention.
For the billions of people who scrape by each day on a meager dollar for much harder work, it is hard to summon much sympathy for this man and his $1.8 million/episode salary that—if the producers are to be believed—have been riddled with outtakes of Charlie's flubbed lines and unsteady posture. Still, we who continually struggle to stay on-target and really are "winning," (or "working at winning" a day at a time), would rather be us than him any day.
--------------------------------------
*A fellowship for family members of gamblers. (A long-time boyfriend of mine had the problem, so I attended meetings for support.)
**His proposed autobiography title.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
What's *Your* Agenda?
Okay. I admit it. There’s an ulterior motive as to why I blog and tweet and Facebook. I have an agenda: Help others benefit from many of my life experiences without having to make all the mistakes I’ve made. Someday I might have a product to market. So I put myself out there and share. A lot.
Republicans claim Democrats/Obama have a Socialist agenda. Democrats claim Republicans have a partisan, conservative, big money agenda. Politics is pretty much “all about” agendas; look in the dictionary under “agenda” and there are likely to be pictures of a donkey and an elephant.
Then there’s television. ABC pushes Disney both overtly and subtly (e.g., "General Hospital" character Brook Lyn sang "When You Wish Upon A Star" during Karaoke night at the show's pub); NBC makes equally sure they endorse things “Universal-ly.” If you have network Video on Demand, you know they unabashedly push their programming and you usually can’t fast forward/rewind your way around it.
Inasfar as the programs themselves: There are some that receive my full attention and others are background noise while I’m online. An in-between were Bravo’s NY & NJ Housewives series. Then I realized: EVERY cast member had an agenda. It was one thing when it was about a family business and a little shameless self-promotion but then everyone “went Hollywood.” Now this housewife sells jewelry, that housewife sells clothing, another is selling sex tapes, the most classy is selling a disco song/video, and as a subtext, they’re *all* selling Botox. Their vicious attacks and backbiting left me empty and sad at how far (especially) women will go to embarrass and humiliate themselves (and each other) for airtime. I stopped watching the shows before their respective first seasons ended.
The “Bachelor[ette]?” More background noise. If the goings-on were anymore slimy, I’d have to staple myself to my seat. Every participant is out for something and it’s rarely love. Most sickening of the recent dregs is Frank Neuschaefer—one of the last three bachelors vying for Ali Fedotowsky. He had a "sudden epiphany" and realized he was still in love with his "ex-girlfriend Nicole."
In full view of the TV audience, Nicole played into a sickeningly phony love scene with Frank as they declared their revived love for one another. He then flew to Tahiti to let Ali know about his change of heart and left the (vulnerable?) Bachelorette momentarily heartbroken. (Who was only too ready to tell all on Jimmy Kimmel and George Lopez.)
I mean… Seriously? Who freakin’ does these things? Is there anything at all minutely real about TV at ALL these days? These people make my skin crawl at first sight. How could anyone find them remotely interesting/marketable? Sadly, someone, somewhere is likely to take the Frank & Nicole storyline and turn it into something. Or maybe that is how Frank will attempt to accelerate *his* agenda—making it as a screenwriter—which was reportedly his sole purpose for being on “The Bachelorette” in the first place and was never really estranged from Nicole. (Translation: Nicole knew Frank was going on the show to further his agenda, supported him in the effort to be something he is not so he could be something he wanted to be. Ewwww.)
I initially thought Jake (the last bachelor) was "the real deal" and was disgusted when he chose Vienna because she was so unlikeable. Then he went on "Dancing with the Stars." When that didn’t give them enough airtime, he and Vienna very publicly broke up and I realized they actually deserved each other because they both had equally high yuck factors. (Chris Harrison is applying for a Ph.D. in relationship counseling--or sainthood--as I write this.)
Then, of course, "Bachelor Pad" debuts August 9th on ABC. Or as I like to call it: "Invasion of the Bachelor/ette Bottom-Dwellers." The most despicable cast members (like country singer Wes from Bachelorette Jillian episodes) play Twister for money as they behave badly/provocatively. (Jillian, BTW, has now officially split with fiancé Ed.)
Yeah, I know… Stop watching if it annoys you. And yes, I know it says something about me that I watch at all. Stupid. I can’t even claim “ignorant” because I *do* know better. (But then what would I write about?)
It has never been clearer that virtually everyone in public view has a price and to further the value, an agenda is designed.
Writing about this subject was prompted by today's New York Daily News article about a poll that declares life is downhill for women after age 31. That, after age 31, women lose—or believe they start losing—their looks and sense of self.
Admittedly, my reaction is skewed because I’m way on the over side of 31 and I’ve had a stick up my butt for a while since the world seemed to stop listening to me altogether when I turned 50. But that’s personal. (Doesn’t keep me from having a voice and using it to scream from the highest mountains—or setting fingers to keyboard—to get my point across.)
Supposedly 2000 women were polled by QVC—a television/internet shopping network that sells beauty, vanity, and fashion for a premium. You know, the shopping channel whose agenda it is to make sure that we 31+ women (more likely their target consumers than our younger counterparts) realize we’re useless without them? Hence, we must become their uber-consumers and take advantage of their fabulous products so that we can ease the pain of merciless aging, lest our remaining 50-years-or-so be rendered totally and utterly insignificant.
In a world full of (eventual) karmic reconciliation, those of us with an agenda will answer for whatever actions we’ve taken to exploit our agendas. So far so good for me. QVC—which cannot possibly be doing as well in these lean financial times as in the past—will hopefully find they've viciously and self-servingly attacked women’s vulnerability to its core (while doing everything within their capacity to cultivate that vulnerability) and will have a serious karmic debt to pay.
BUT… in the meantime… They’ve lost me as a customer. There’s a lot I cannot control in this world. (Painful to admit and sometimes harder to accept.) This I can.
Care to join me?
Republicans claim Democrats/Obama have a Socialist agenda. Democrats claim Republicans have a partisan, conservative, big money agenda. Politics is pretty much “all about” agendas; look in the dictionary under “agenda” and there are likely to be pictures of a donkey and an elephant.
Then there’s television. ABC pushes Disney both overtly and subtly (e.g., "General Hospital" character Brook Lyn sang "When You Wish Upon A Star" during Karaoke night at the show's pub); NBC makes equally sure they endorse things “Universal-ly.” If you have network Video on Demand, you know they unabashedly push their programming and you usually can’t fast forward/rewind your way around it.
Inasfar as the programs themselves: There are some that receive my full attention and others are background noise while I’m online. An in-between were Bravo’s NY & NJ Housewives series. Then I realized: EVERY cast member had an agenda. It was one thing when it was about a family business and a little shameless self-promotion but then everyone “went Hollywood.” Now this housewife sells jewelry, that housewife sells clothing, another is selling sex tapes, the most classy is selling a disco song/video, and as a subtext, they’re *all* selling Botox. Their vicious attacks and backbiting left me empty and sad at how far (especially) women will go to embarrass and humiliate themselves (and each other) for airtime. I stopped watching the shows before their respective first seasons ended.
The “Bachelor[ette]?” More background noise. If the goings-on were anymore slimy, I’d have to staple myself to my seat. Every participant is out for something and it’s rarely love. Most sickening of the recent dregs is Frank Neuschaefer—one of the last three bachelors vying for Ali Fedotowsky. He had a "sudden epiphany" and realized he was still in love with his "ex-girlfriend Nicole."
In full view of the TV audience, Nicole played into a sickeningly phony love scene with Frank as they declared their revived love for one another. He then flew to Tahiti to let Ali know about his change of heart and left the (vulnerable?) Bachelorette momentarily heartbroken. (Who was only too ready to tell all on Jimmy Kimmel and George Lopez.)
I mean… Seriously? Who freakin’ does these things? Is there anything at all minutely real about TV at ALL these days? These people make my skin crawl at first sight. How could anyone find them remotely interesting/marketable? Sadly, someone, somewhere is likely to take the Frank & Nicole storyline and turn it into something. Or maybe that is how Frank will attempt to accelerate *his* agenda—making it as a screenwriter—which was reportedly his sole purpose for being on “The Bachelorette” in the first place and was never really estranged from Nicole. (Translation: Nicole knew Frank was going on the show to further his agenda, supported him in the effort to be something he is not so he could be something he wanted to be. Ewwww.)
I initially thought Jake (the last bachelor) was "the real deal" and was disgusted when he chose Vienna because she was so unlikeable. Then he went on "Dancing with the Stars." When that didn’t give them enough airtime, he and Vienna very publicly broke up and I realized they actually deserved each other because they both had equally high yuck factors. (Chris Harrison is applying for a Ph.D. in relationship counseling--or sainthood--as I write this.)
Then, of course, "Bachelor Pad" debuts August 9th on ABC. Or as I like to call it: "Invasion of the Bachelor/ette Bottom-Dwellers." The most despicable cast members (like country singer Wes from Bachelorette Jillian episodes) play Twister for money as they behave badly/provocatively. (Jillian, BTW, has now officially split with fiancé Ed.)
Yeah, I know… Stop watching if it annoys you. And yes, I know it says something about me that I watch at all. Stupid. I can’t even claim “ignorant” because I *do* know better. (But then what would I write about?)
It has never been clearer that virtually everyone in public view has a price and to further the value, an agenda is designed.
Writing about this subject was prompted by today's New York Daily News article about a poll that declares life is downhill for women after age 31. That, after age 31, women lose—or believe they start losing—their looks and sense of self.
Admittedly, my reaction is skewed because I’m way on the over side of 31 and I’ve had a stick up my butt for a while since the world seemed to stop listening to me altogether when I turned 50. But that’s personal. (Doesn’t keep me from having a voice and using it to scream from the highest mountains—or setting fingers to keyboard—to get my point across.)
Supposedly 2000 women were polled by QVC—a television/internet shopping network that sells beauty, vanity, and fashion for a premium. You know, the shopping channel whose agenda it is to make sure that we 31+ women (more likely their target consumers than our younger counterparts) realize we’re useless without them? Hence, we must become their uber-consumers and take advantage of their fabulous products so that we can ease the pain of merciless aging, lest our remaining 50-years-or-so be rendered totally and utterly insignificant.
In a world full of (eventual) karmic reconciliation, those of us with an agenda will answer for whatever actions we’ve taken to exploit our agendas. So far so good for me. QVC—which cannot possibly be doing as well in these lean financial times as in the past—will hopefully find they've viciously and self-servingly attacked women’s vulnerability to its core (while doing everything within their capacity to cultivate that vulnerability) and will have a serious karmic debt to pay.
BUT… in the meantime… They’ve lost me as a customer. There’s a lot I cannot control in this world. (Painful to admit and sometimes harder to accept.) This I can.
Care to join me?
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Ageism & Discrimination in the News Business
You would have to be extremely clueless to know the news industry and not see the rampant discrimination. Ageism has been par for the course for a long time. Does one need to go back to the Norville-Pauley days to recognize it? Norville essentially has since proven herself in many ways, although she suffered "reverse ageism backlash" more than most. (That was so long ago that Norville now has to be the one looking for the "little pishers" trying to edge her out of the way.)
Kaity Tong remains a reputable, likeable newsperson, as does Marchiano in Sports and even Watkins as an anchor. (Watkins' contract, BTW, has NOT been renewed.) Kaity can still hold her own anywhere. None of the people mentioned in the article really look their age. (Can Kaity TRULY be almost 60???)
This being said, WPIX news is a train wreck and has been for quite some time. I believe it's more technically-induced than anchor-initiated but something's not right somewhere. I have literally watched the 10pm news fall apart mid-cast and the spirit of the anchors along with it. Methinks letting Berlamino go was a wise move because of this.
I watch WCBS and WABC news most frequently and although WABC has been riddled with tech problems for a while (appears to be more switcher and automation related than anything), their reporting and anchors remain professionally solid. (Except for the major Good Morning America faux pas last week during which Robin Roberts spread the word that "26 billion--1 out of every 7 people in the world--will be watching World Cup Soccer events at some point over the next 30 days..." I had just woken up in my autoimmune-disease-fog-ridden-state and knew how out of whack such a stat was. There are less than 6.9 billion people in the entire world!! But I digress...)
At least WABC appears faithful to their "oldtimers" more than most stations. And with good reason. You'd be a fool to let go of solid journalists the likes of a Diana Williams.
WCBS seems to ask the most of their anchors (Mary Calvi & Chris Wragge especially) and they come through with flying colors. They're solid, likeable and I sure hope they're getting paid for keeping the local news afloat (and in Wragge's case, the The Early Show Weekend... he's anchored the 11:00 news on a Friday and manages to co-anchor network at 7am the next morning with style and professionalism).
I worked behind the camera in news for several years and I can tell you that the industry kills many of its most dedicated. It took the best years I had left. Because I let it. Dedication to this or any job at the sacrifice of your health and mental well-being (regardless of your desire to make an impact and do good for others) is a mistake. I still physically suffer now (SEVEN YEARS LATER) and hardly anyone I worked with has looked back--despite the fact that I sourced THREE emmy-award winning stories before I left and few have even whispered my name.
Am I bitter? No, I'm really not. I let what happened to me happen. All I needed to do was walk away. Instead I stayed until I could barely crawl away. A word of warning to all: Monitor your health. No story, news director, paycheck... nothing is worth your health. Just look at the list of wonderful news people (not just in the large markets) who died from cancer... When your body's talking, listen. Don't put off a doctor's appointment to share the next big story. Because the one after that could be YOUR obit.
But a healthy older person who still has the chops... There's no reason for them to be drummed out and shame on all who think that's the way to go. Hope it bites you in the a$$ but good. Karma's a sonofagun. I just may smirk as I see it do its work.
Now if only someone at PIX could explain why anyone thought the scandal-mired Mendte was a good idea... I really try not to be mean but he was a washed up blowhard way before he made his way across the East River to share his mindless drivel on the airwaves--and get paid for it???
Kaity Tong remains a reputable, likeable newsperson, as does Marchiano in Sports and even Watkins as an anchor. (Watkins' contract, BTW, has NOT been renewed.) Kaity can still hold her own anywhere. None of the people mentioned in the article really look their age. (Can Kaity TRULY be almost 60???)
This being said, WPIX news is a train wreck and has been for quite some time. I believe it's more technically-induced than anchor-initiated but something's not right somewhere. I have literally watched the 10pm news fall apart mid-cast and the spirit of the anchors along with it. Methinks letting Berlamino go was a wise move because of this.
I watch WCBS and WABC news most frequently and although WABC has been riddled with tech problems for a while (appears to be more switcher and automation related than anything), their reporting and anchors remain professionally solid. (Except for the major Good Morning America faux pas last week during which Robin Roberts spread the word that "26 billion--1 out of every 7 people in the world--will be watching World Cup Soccer events at some point over the next 30 days..." I had just woken up in my autoimmune-disease-fog-ridden-state and knew how out of whack such a stat was. There are less than 6.9 billion people in the entire world!! But I digress...)
At least WABC appears faithful to their "oldtimers" more than most stations. And with good reason. You'd be a fool to let go of solid journalists the likes of a Diana Williams.
WCBS seems to ask the most of their anchors (Mary Calvi & Chris Wragge especially) and they come through with flying colors. They're solid, likeable and I sure hope they're getting paid for keeping the local news afloat (and in Wragge's case, the The Early Show Weekend... he's anchored the 11:00 news on a Friday and manages to co-anchor network at 7am the next morning with style and professionalism).
I worked behind the camera in news for several years and I can tell you that the industry kills many of its most dedicated. It took the best years I had left. Because I let it. Dedication to this or any job at the sacrifice of your health and mental well-being (regardless of your desire to make an impact and do good for others) is a mistake. I still physically suffer now (SEVEN YEARS LATER) and hardly anyone I worked with has looked back--despite the fact that I sourced THREE emmy-award winning stories before I left and few have even whispered my name.
Am I bitter? No, I'm really not. I let what happened to me happen. All I needed to do was walk away. Instead I stayed until I could barely crawl away. A word of warning to all: Monitor your health. No story, news director, paycheck... nothing is worth your health. Just look at the list of wonderful news people (not just in the large markets) who died from cancer... When your body's talking, listen. Don't put off a doctor's appointment to share the next big story. Because the one after that could be YOUR obit.
But a healthy older person who still has the chops... There's no reason for them to be drummed out and shame on all who think that's the way to go. Hope it bites you in the a$$ but good. Karma's a sonofagun. I just may smirk as I see it do its work.
Now if only someone at PIX could explain why anyone thought the scandal-mired Mendte was a good idea... I really try not to be mean but he was a washed up blowhard way before he made his way across the East River to share his mindless drivel on the airwaves--and get paid for it???
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Grateful to Be A Weight Loss Surgery Success
I will spare you a long lengthy diatribe--although after careful review, it's not short. The intimate details of my weight loss surgery experiences are available by checking out my website and my weight loss surgery profile on Obesity Help. However, suffice to say:
Five years ago: I felt as though my life was over (but was optimistic)
Today: I feel as though my life has just begun.
I am 54 years old. I have never gained more than 10 lbs in five years--and that was all either water weight or hormone induced. (Mind you, I am documented as having gained and lost over half a ton up until then.) I still can't eat more than 12 oz in one sitting but do eat every 2-3 hours. A humongous red pear wiIl still fill me up so much that I can't finish it but I'm satisfied as all get out.
I eat fresh wholesome foods, whole grains, sugar-free and have become a gourmet, a cooking whiz and have even started canning (recently put up my own SF meat tomato sauce, SF cranberry sauce, SF cranberry jam, SF apple butter, etc) ... I make my own yogurt, my own SF granola, etc etc and love every second of it. Eat out rarely because I can either imitate or improve upon the sugar-salt-and-preservative-laden-fare.
I have not waivered over 135 lbs since the great Mirena disaster of 2006 (that put 10 hormone-filled pounds on my body that took months to eliminate and caused a 1"x3" benign tumor in my breast) and because my body still changes/firms from proper eating and physical activity (no plastic surgery), I appear thinner than ever. I'm just under 130 lbs now: Maintaining a 190 lb weight loss to date.
Life is not without its challenges. I am not perfect. Everything from job loss to loss of friends and family. My vitamins could be better; the autoimmune diseases persist. Yet there is an ebb and flow that reminds me life is for living not observing and even when I try to ride the wave, it pulls me in and demands my participation.
I am here to tell you that dreams ARE realized, persistence is key.
You matter. I matter. Believe it to your core.
Aspire - Perspire - Inspire ... or, if you like:
Aspire
Inspire
Make it happen!
Blessings to all of you... always!
Five years ago: I felt as though my life was over (but was optimistic)
Today: I feel as though my life has just begun.
I am 54 years old. I have never gained more than 10 lbs in five years--and that was all either water weight or hormone induced. (Mind you, I am documented as having gained and lost over half a ton up until then.) I still can't eat more than 12 oz in one sitting but do eat every 2-3 hours. A humongous red pear wiIl still fill me up so much that I can't finish it but I'm satisfied as all get out.
I eat fresh wholesome foods, whole grains, sugar-free and have become a gourmet, a cooking whiz and have even started canning (recently put up my own SF meat tomato sauce, SF cranberry sauce, SF cranberry jam, SF apple butter, etc) ... I make my own yogurt, my own SF granola, etc etc and love every second of it. Eat out rarely because I can either imitate or improve upon the sugar-salt-and-preservative-laden-fare.
I have not waivered over 135 lbs since the great Mirena disaster of 2006 (that put 10 hormone-filled pounds on my body that took months to eliminate and caused a 1"x3" benign tumor in my breast) and because my body still changes/firms from proper eating and physical activity (no plastic surgery), I appear thinner than ever. I'm just under 130 lbs now: Maintaining a 190 lb weight loss to date.
Life is not without its challenges. I am not perfect. Everything from job loss to loss of friends and family. My vitamins could be better; the autoimmune diseases persist. Yet there is an ebb and flow that reminds me life is for living not observing and even when I try to ride the wave, it pulls me in and demands my participation.
I am here to tell you that dreams ARE realized, persistence is key.
You matter. I matter. Believe it to your core.
Aspire - Perspire - Inspire ... or, if you like:
Aspire
Inspire
Make it happen!
Blessings to all of you... always!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Online Bulletin Boards: SOS or BS?
Everyone who has ever taken the time to participate on an internet bulletin board related to a particular subject has probably discovered they can be the epitome of the double-edged sword. There can be lots of legitimate information, lots of questionable information and, certainly, lots of opinions.
Very often those with little else to occupy their time will embed themselves with a forum of their choice and take on the role of expert. With a certain hierarchy in place due to the amount of time they spend there, whatever they post in response to a newbie is usually highly supported by other members and/or reinforced by those who run/own the forum.
Such is the case for me, anyway.
Recently I posted to a forum with which I've had extremely infrequent contact during the past year. It was the type of post that I'd seen excite most forum members to the point of happy tears. Although the publicly unshared part of the message had its down side – something I had to painstakingly reconcile on my own but true (offline) professionals personally reassured me was of minimal concern – I was extremely blindsided by the flurry of negativity that ensued. Certain board members essentially bombarded me with their version of expertise and a gang mentality lined up right behind them and followed suit.
Because I suffer from three autoimmune diseases that are further triggered or exacerbated by stress, I tried to pull the post but the forum's system would not allow this. I appealed to board moderators, the owner, and administrators to remove the post but they said they "didn't know how" or were "out of town." Yet, somehow, each of these individuals managed to join in the "bitchfest" along with other board members. Yes, I'm saying that they joined in the responses—some of which would give "Mean Girls" a run for their money.
The most astounding thing about this fracas is that the responses to my post tripled after I removed the text of my post and simply featured a "closed" icon. So what I'm saying is that there was no text in my message for people to make any kind of an accurate assessment of what I posted, so they instead speculated about what I said and what I meant and how I should have known better. In essence, they switched from being an expert on the subject matter to becoming an expert about me. All but two had it so wrong that it would have been laughable—especially since this was the one site on which I never shared my true identity.
No one likes the idea of being so vilified without any real tangible reason. I may have demonstrated some ignorance about the subject but it was innocent and had no malice whatsoever. The text of my original post proves this. So I started emailing and calling the board owner personally to just end this misery as I found it hurtful and useless and downright mean. These are, after all, mostly women in their 30s, 40s and 50s—who evidently never got past a high school mentality of wanting to be Queen Bee. I truly resented this behavior at my expense.
It's not that I hadn't seen it happen before. There was a site that I lived on when I was bedridden. That site literally helped me change my life for the better in more ways than I can count. However, at a certain point—as the site grew in popularity—I started observing the very same kind of gang mentality take place. It was never directed at me but I couldn't watch it continue any longer, so I divorced myself from the site and got more of a life offline.
So this entire treatise is meant to point out some facts:
(a) No matter what the subject, there are very few chat boards out there that have no ulterior motive; they are usually motivated by money—whether it be a product the owner is pushing or income raised through advertising from certain board members who have products or a business to push (this can be extremely vague/unobvious to many unless you look behind the curtain).
(b) There is a certain brainwashing that takes place on these sites. They can be almost cult-like in their membership. Those who may disagree with the negative responses by the board's senior members are likely to turn a blind-eye to it lest they be ostracized and they'll rarely have the balls to speak out against it. Hence the newbie/infrequent who innocently posts a taboo or unknowingly hotbed subject will be mashed like a potato without repercussion to those who decided to make them feel so insignificant.
(c) Owners and moderators who participate in the fracas instead of either pulling the post or closing the thread to "move on" are acting in an irresponsible manner and should be held liable if the person "attacked" suffers physically or emotionally from the actions of board members they chose to ignore.
(d) It's a virtual world for sure but people need to be a little less intense when they don't have all the facts about the people they choose to "attack"—especially about the person's physical/ emotional fragility. Just because you spend all your time on a site doesn't mean you know everything about everyone.
(e) Never, ever give everything you've got to one of these sites. Tread very lightly. The most innocuous and inviting of sites will probably bite you in the ass eventually. I speak from experience.
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